As an adult diagnosed and living with ADD and a veteran broadcasting professional of twenty five years, the subject of bosses who are sensitive to the behaviors and needs of someone with ADD is close to my heart. My bosses each had a profound impact on me.   ADD or not, anyone who has ever spent time in the workplace has good boss / bad boss stories. It wasn’t until well after I was diagnosed in my 40’s that I began to understand that I had as much of a responsibility to educate them as they had to ‘boss’ me.

In the end, it is about a collaborative partnership (or not).  As ADDults in the workplace, we face predictable and complex challenges. Some of us, for good reason,  are hypersensitive; some of us have  issues around authority and for some, it might be our lack of motivation or impulsivity. Realistically,  however we do have an opportunity today to educate those around us so that they are better able to support us.

I was not diagnosed until I was in my 40’s. What I didn’t know until that time was how deeply my ADD had affected my work habits and that there actually were work environments and bosses who could be responsive to my needs.  Even more importantly, I became aware that I deserved to find them!  

In television media sales, my job went something like this: I was selling commercial time for twenty television stations while simultaneously reporting to four levels of management. There were constant interrogations ,  demanding and often hostile  media buyers working on unreasonably tight deadlines, phones ringing off the hook , people screaming at each other from their cubicles, fifty emails with  threats and demands every 2 hours and on and on.   Although this type of work and I were a “match made in ADD heaven”, when my alignment with management was off, my job went from fun to excruciatingly unbearable.

When it comes to bosses, it’s pretty simple. There are two distinct types; those who get it, are open minded and willing to understand and accommodate us with our heightened sensitivities and limitations and those who don’t and won’t.  The ADD  friendly bosses all had similar profiles and so did I when I worked for them.

On the other hand, there were others that I would call the non –ADD friendly or  “bad” boss variety.  Paul  is a perfect example.  He and I inherited each other.  It was soon clear that our styles and values were not aligned. My personality and highly verbal, non linear approach to problem solving drove him nuts and he in turn drove me nuts by micromanaging, criticizing me publicly and questioning and dismissing every move I made.  You can only imagine how effective that strategy was! Most of my efforts to communicate with him fell on deaf ears and that alone was pretty scary and humiliating.   He looked for shortcomings. The more he looked, the more he found! 

As a result, I  found myself beginning to gossip as a way of feeling connected and belonging. I became paranoid. It was like Murphy’s law; anything that could go wrong did. I spent more time trying to cover my tracks than selling (not a great strategy for ROI). The constant negativity was draining and even I couldn’t stand to hear myself complaining anymore.  Not an ideal environment for a working adult with ADHD.

My next manager who I will call Christina ,  was a great example of an ADD friendly boss. She not only recognized my strengths but continuously supported me around my weaknesses, which was critical to my sense of wellbeing and steady job performance. She was consistent , patient and non judgmental. She would often say “Come in. I’ll help you. Don’t worry”. When my assistant left, she made sure that I got a very experienced new assistant which was essential to my  effectiveness. She respected me for the competent professional I was.

As a result, I was highly productive, engaged and very happy. Sales increased and I eventually developed a Mentoring Program at that company which became an integral part of their training platform.

The point is this. Even in the worst case scenario, I had to learn to intelligently advocate for myself until I could find another job. What we need to know as ADDers is that we have a responsibility to find workplace situations that work for us…not the other way around. Living with AD/HD, whether boss or being bossed, is no picnic for anyone. Let’s not settle! We have  the knowledge to go out there and help ourselves by helping others. The guarantee is that there will be a substantial return on the investment!

Strategies For Success:

Survival tips from a pro that survived!

·         Identify and write down what you need to maximize your effectiveness at your job and be willing to articulate it clearly to your boss so you can develop strategies together

·         Don’t be afraid to ask for small accommodations that might enable you to make big changes

·         Advocate for yourself:  If you are suddenly flooded with too much information, don’t hesitate to ask the person to please repeat what they said. I learned to say “Would you please repeat that. I’m a slow thinker.” No one has ever refused or laughed at me for asking!

·         Follow through: If you say you are going to do something, do it or let your boss know why you aren’t doing it. This minimizes frustration on his part and paranoia on yours.

·         Write everything down 24/7 and review it incessantly. Some might call it compulsive…for me it is freedom!  Fall in love with your calendar and refer to it constantly.

·         Clarify, clarify, clarify when you feel confused at all. Take the risk even if you think that you “already asked once”. You’ll be glad you did.

·         Accept yourself – Become willing to put away the old hammer and replace it with a beautiful feather. It’s time.

BIO

Nancy Snell, CEC is a certified professional  coach specializing in adult ADD and business/workplace issues. Her clients are highly functioning, successful adults who routinely struggle with ‘ADD- like’ issues (such as procrastination, managing frustration, perpetual overwhelm) and often feel like they can’t quite seem to get their act together, even though all they do is try!

Drawing from many years and wide range of business and life experience, Nancy approaches each and every client with unparalleled vision and personalized attention. Visit her web site at www.nancysnell.com