People often ask me: "How can you have AD/HD and still do what you do and be successful"? Well, successful is a complex word for another discussion....
Let me tell you a little story. Some of you know about my famous holiday dinners and how I've struggled with those my whole adult life, EVEN THOUGH I have a pretty good handle on how my ADD affects me. EVEN THOUGH I use accommodations for myself all the time. You see, no matter how much we understand how our brains work and about our ADD, we will still find ways to trip and falter. The difference is, HOW you pick yourself up and keep moving. I make holiday dinners- sometimes- but in ways that work FOR me and my ADD.
To illustrate how my ADD can still trip me up- but rarely embarrass me anymore- let me tell you about a true story that happened to me recently.
I was at a conference- an ADD conference, of course- but as an attendee; not as a speaker. I was sitting with friends and colleagues, waiting for the event to start when I noticed a good friend of mine entering the rather large room, searching for a place to sit.
I spotted her immediately, and stood up, waving my arms wildly, trying to get her attention. I had an empty seat next to me and hoped she'd see me so we could sit together. I finally caught her eye but was not expecting the reaction I was to receive.
She looked at me quizzically. I figured she might worry that she was taking someone else's seat, but I urged her to come over. She did. And promptly sat down without a word.
I looked at her, my mouth agape, wondering if she might be angry with me. My mind scanned the last year, trying to remember if I might have missed a lunch date. Maybe I didn't return a phone call. For clearly she was not herself and avoided my eyes.
The presentation started but of course, like many with ADD, I began ruminating. And ruminating some more. Why was she ignoring me? Had I inadvertently hurt her feelings recently?
I kept glancing at her through the corner of my eye, when lo and behold, it struck me right between my eyes- the woman sitting next to me was not my friend after all; she was a complete stranger.
My horror turned to muffled laughter as I realized I had experienced yet another ADD "moment."
Years ago, such an experience would have devastated me. I would have been mentally whipping myself for "being so stupid." How could I forget my own friend's FACE? But that's me. And my ADD brain. Take it or leave it.
My point is (yes, I was getting to that) that even when we've gotten to the stage of accepting our ADD, living and working with it, using planners, reminders, reading books and going to conferences, we WILL encounter many many of these ADD moments. The difference in our journey is how we deal with them.
Sari Solden, in her book, Journeys Through ADDulthood, cites a wonderful quote by Rabbi Hillel:
I get up.
I walk.
I fall down.
Meanwhile, I keep dancing
We all need to keep dancing.
Till next time-
Terry
