Do Holidays and Special Occasions Make you Anxious?
I've never understood the broad smiles and the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations. In my neighborhood, all holidays are a BIG DEAL. Most homes have gorgeous wreaths on their front door, which change with the seasons. Front yards are decked out with holiday decor created by talented hands. From Easter to New Years, I'm always reminded that there's yet another holiday to think about.
Not good if you have HOLIDAY ANXIETY.
I've written elsewhere how preparing holiday meals is more than I can handle. Not just getting meals figured out, but getting the house in shape, gift buying....among other things.
Father's Day is around the corner. This one causes mixed emotions for me. My own father died suddenly when I was ten years old. My step-father, whom I adore, entered my life a few years after that. For many, holidays can trigger intense emotions for many reasons- loss of loved ones, conflict within old or current relationships, etc.
Factor in your ADD and well...it can make things much more difficult. It's easier to procrastinate when there are emotional barriers to deal with on top of one's ADD.
What is one to do?
Take a close look at what the holiday means to you. Does it make you happy? Sad? Excited? Depressed? Use this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and address some, perhaps, unresolved issues from your past that keep crawling back into your present life.
Take action! If you have issues to work out with your dad, consider taking that first step. Don't celebrate Father's Day just because you feel you must. Use this day to get closer to him. If your dad has passed away, think about what your relationship was like and use that experience to evaluate your current relationships. Learn from your past. Consider "adopting" a father/grandfather; someone who would appreciate companionship.
(Semi-off topic observation: ever notice how some Father's Day cards are addressed to "Father" vs "Dad"? Makes it clear how different our relationships are with our parents).
Celebrate! If you're fortunate enough to have your dad in your life, show him how much he means to you. A hand written note instead of a quickly picked out Hallmark card could make all the difference in the world.
Many adult children find it hard to connect with their fathers. Perhaps your mother set the tone in your home and was the one you went to with your emotional needs. Many fathers had/have no clue as to how to relate to their children. It's never too late to nurture a relationship. Maybe now is the time to start doing that.
Terry's Checklist for Celebrating Father's Day (June 18!)
- Pick up the phone and make reservations for brunch or dinner. Pick up the phone again and tell your dad where and when you'll be meeting! - or-
- If you're not a BBQ-phob, start planning a get-together at home. Write up your to-do list and prioritize what you need to do first.
- Find a gift, if that is part of your tradition. Get it today. While you're out, buy a card if you don't have time or comfort level to write your own.
Live in a different town? Order something that can be delivered quickly.
Next Sunday, if you are with your dad, do something different. Ask him about his life. What were his dreams and aspirations? What would he change if he could? What does he like and dislike about himself?
Take advantage of this day to make changes in your relationship. Because he won't be around forever. Embrace the time you still have together.
Face it, ADD often means procrastinating. Getting stuck. Having problems making decisions. If you're out of time or ideas, find a great gift for your father online at www.myADDstore.com
