Some kids ultra-sensitive to socks, shirt seams, tags

Thursday, August 17. 2006

Some kids ultra-sensitive to socks, shirt seams, tags

How about that? I just found this interesting article, again...on sensory issues.

Early intervention can help with sensory overload

In some homes, a child's sock is simply that: A child's sock.

But in homes like Kelly Chirdo's, it is not.

The little ball of cloth is an instigator of tears, a symbol of lost time and sometimes the cause of a missed school bus or activity.

Kelly's 10-year-old daughter, Macy, simply cannot bear most socks. Or tags in the back of her shirts. Or seams in her clothes.

The socks must be seamless (or turned inside out) and the tags must be cut out, or the clothing won't get worn. Period.

"At first I thought, oh, she is a diva," says Chirdo of Irondequoit, recalling how Macy's early, insistent arrival caused an unplanned home birth. "Then I realized that this wasn't attitude, these things really bother her."

As it turns out, these things — and sometimes many more — bother an awful lot of kids.

"We got talking about this one day and found four people on our staff have the same problem," says Lisa Revell, an Irondequoit office manager whose 12-year-old son, Joe was, as a preschooler, "a horrible nightmare" when it came to sock seams and height, tags, winter boots and most other aspects of dressing.

And it isn't just clothing issues. Some kids have all senses on high alert: Pillows must always feel cool. Foods can't have lumps or other textures. Noises can't be borne, or else they must be heard loudly. Collar points or sleeves grow ragged from chewing or sucking. Hugs can be unbearable or must be given to the point of breathlessness.

On top of it all, the behaviors can be there one day, gone the next, roaring back a day later.

The good news is that the problem has gained enough notice to earn several names and various treatments.

The not-so-good news is that between pricey evaluations, arguing clinicians and conflicting diagnoses, finding the right help requires time and patience from parents run ragged by searching for seamless socks, tagless shirts and linens that magically stay chilled all night long.

Of all the labels for these behaviors — sensory defensiveness, sensory integration, sensory integration dysfunction, tactile sensitivity, tactile sensory defensiveness — only one fails to generate much in an Internet search.

This is because "pervasive hypersensitivity disorder" (PHD) is the creation of Brighton psychologist Matthew Rosen, who believes the problem needs its own name in order to separate it from disorders it resembles but does not mirror.

"These are kids who act kind of like the princess and the pea. They feel things strongly, are very passionate, critical deep thinkers," Rosen explains. "But they often are misdiagnosed. Like attention deficit disorder kids, they are squirmy, they are inattentive, they can be impulsive, they can be distracted. And like oppositional defiant disorder kids, they're gonna be cranky and oppositional."

Some differences, for example, are that a child with PHD may be squirmy simply because of discomfort, inattentive from intense pondering how to fix his situation, or oppositional from plain old feeling bad.

Rosen believes that some children with PHD can have that and nothing else, and with time and understanding can grow out of it, as Macy Chirdo appears to be doing. "It's stayed mostly to clothes," says her mother. "She has a few outfits she'll wear. No belts, nothing at the waist. She's still very perceptive and sensitive and intense. That's it, and that's who she is."

More often, experts find, PHD is a red flag alerting parents and pediatricians to other disorders.

By first grade, Joseph Moore of Webster was exhibiting many behaviors that Rosen lists for PHD, from chewing and sucking on the collars of his shirts and "turtling" (pulling his shirt over his kneecaps and putting his head into the neckhole) to rejecting most shoes and clothes, disrobing wherever possible.

"Oh my Lord, it was a struggle just to do the basics," says his mother, Susan Macaluso, who was also struggling with well-meaning observers who none-too-subtly hinted that poor discipline was to blame.

After trying two medications, talking to Rosen and discovering bipolar disorder in the family history, Macaluso learned that Joseph did not have ADD or ADHD, but a mix of bipolar and PHD. A third medication plus regular therapy caused "remarkable" change, she says. Joseph still prefers loose clothing, "but he's otherwise just a regular kid."

Revell, too, found her son's grade-school hypersensitivity was just a piece of a larger puzzle initially thought to be OCD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, but was actually ADHD. Talk therapy, medications and time have gotten rid of most of the problem.

"We learned to pick our battles and let the rest go," she says. "He's a super-sensitive kid. So, OK."

The road to learning exactly what's wrong and how to fix it is long even for parents familiar with childhood disabilities.

Even though Karen Boltwood works for Board of Cooperative Educational Services as a para-educator for autistic children, she's struggled for 11 years to understand her son Benjamin's tantrums, unsoothable anxiety and acute fear responses when confronted with clothing tags, shoes, foods, swingsets and other elements of childhood.

"At this point, it's better, it's mostly down to social issues," says Boltwood, of Webster. "But we're at the point where it's like, 'We don't care what you call it, we just want to fix it.'"

Pediatricians and therapists say this requires understanding some basics.

For one, says Rosen, "Bad parenting does not cause this. This is how some kids are wired."

Ruth Goldberg, also a Brighton therapist, agrees: "These kids aren't here to make your life miserable. They're genuinely unhappy. Their behavior is communication with you — you can learn from it."

Another basic: Because this is easily mistaken for other disorders, a full evaluation is necessary. Start with your pediatrician, Goldberg advises, and ask around for a good occupational therapist. "They're the real experts in this."

Then prepare to take notes. There are several kinds of sensory issues a child can have, says Angela Sallerson, an occupational therapist for 36 years who focuses on pediatric patients, "and there's no blood test, no way to pick it apart easily."

The key, she says, is acting quickly on unusual behaviors and getting the right diagnosis.

"Early intervention is it with kids. Labels and letters can be frightening, but they're not the death sentence they used to feel like. You need a behavioral plan for the child and the parent. And if you treat it, it does get better."

Original article at http://www.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060816/LIVING/608160337/1032

Posted by Terry at 00:14 | Comments (31) | Trackbacks (0)

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My child is sensitive to clothing. He will only wear this one pair of shorts because the texture is right. He fidgets in his chair at school if the texture of clothes is not right. He also will not wear socks. It is mostly a clothing problem. Is there medicine for this?

#1 debbie hickey on 2006-08-30 21:12 (Reply)

My daughter (age 7) is sensitive to socks and sneakers together and it seems that I just can't tie her sneakers tight enough. It is creating a problem getting her to school. She is now wearing sneakers without socks and we are giving her rewards for wearing sneakers, but she really seems to be uncomfortable. She does okay when at school, but it can be heart wrenching to get her on the bus. We need help!

#2 Patty Franco on 2006-09-26 07:13 (Reply)

In the past, I have had a problem with my child and the seams in her socks. She would throw tantrums every time I tried to make her put on a pair of socks. Fighting with her was almost unbearable. I tried turning the socks inside out and that didn't work. Finally, I found some totally seamless socks that she will actually wear. It doesn't take care of the other problems like clothing tags and other random things, but at least the sock situation is solved. If anyone is interested the socks are called SmartKnit Sensitivity and I found them online on a website called The Diabetic Sock Store. That address is www.diabeticsockstore.com.

#3 ashley on 2006-09-27 16:36 (Reply)

My 6 year old has a problem with clothes also. She is "normal" in every other aspect, but her panty seams bother her, so she pulls them up too high...where they basicallyturn into almost a thong. Socks drive her crazy, so she wears them so low down her foot, that they barely cover her toes. She then rolls the end of the sock and cruches up he toes in a very weird, uncomfortable looking way and walks with her toes cruched like that most of the time. There are many jeans and shorts she will not wear because they "itch" her. I don't know what to do. I can't let her go sockless, because it is the dress code at school that she MUST have socks!?!

#4 mandi on 2007-01-09 08:22 (Reply)

I read your comment Mandi and I felt like you were talking about my daughter...I started to cry!. She is now 51/2 and she has always had clothing issues. Like you mentioned she is "normal" in every other aspect but socks and shoes are a "deadly" combination and TRULY affect us every time we need to get prepared to go anywhere. I have spent many mornings dealing with a child crying and screaming "it HURTS" because she had to wear socks and boots/shoes. Pants, shirts and UNDERWEAR are also huge issue! I'm having a hard time understand and knowing how to deal with this issue! Vicky

#4.1 Vicky on 2008-07-21 15:01 (Reply)

THis is awesome, I finally found out that what my 6 year old daughter is going through is not a behavioral issue. She started off being "bothered" with socks and jeans. It then went to socks and the arch support of her shoes (thank goodness summer is around for a few months) and is now in the underware and some shirts. We literally get up 2 hours before school so that most of the tears are gone before we go out the door!

For all the parents with girls having issues with the underware, we found that the boy's boxer briefs worked for us. She still pulls them up real high, but they don't "bother her any more! Where can I find these seamless socks that you are all talking about?

#4.1.1 Kelly on 2008-11-06 16:53 (Reply)

I found socks at walmart called soft toes. They are the only thing my daughter will wear

#4.1.1.1 Donna on 2008-11-17 15:06 (Reply)

My 5 year old daughter is super-sensitive to seams, tags, etc. I have given up fighting this clothing battle every morning for so many years and let her wear flip-flops year round, no socks and no underwear (they do not make a pair out there which feels good to her- we have tried oh, so many kinds). Soft cotton pajamas are her favorite to wear all day, but usually she wears leggings and soft well-worn shirts. How often has she gotten completely dressed and then rip everything off because one thing doesn't feel right. It takes a steel strength and tons of patience to deal with these kids.
I have descovered that these kids have overexcitablities- as described by physchologist Dabrowsky. See also books by Elaine Aron on Highly Sensitive Child. These kids do not need medication- just understanding of what drives them. A lot of insense, sensitive, intelligent children are highly gifted too, so there is a plus to being highly sensitive.

#5 CAG on 2007-07-27 13:48 (Reply)

I just read your article. I could have written about my five year old daughter. It is EXACTLY what I am dealing with. My daughter can't stand socks and goes without undies if she can get away with it! She says "Socks bother me!"
So- naturally, flip flops are a major must have around our house too. The only problem is that she has PE in school every other day and as a school nurse, I know that running in flip flops isn't safe or healthy for her growing feet.
Anyhow- I have to agree, my daughter sounds just like yours and she was just selected by the district committee for quest program (our district's gifted and talented students).
So, I guess there are some great upsides to raising highly sensitive (usually very intellegent) children. Best of luck to you, I am goign to try the smartknit socks for kids.

#5.1 shannon on 2008-04-21 10:37 (Reply)

My 6 year old daughter knows she is different from other kids with how her clothes "bother" her. She can't handle underwear, socks, and lately shirts. This is very difficult. The strange thing is that we have had a long reprieve and actually thought she grew out of it. Since she was 2 or 3 we have had clothing battles, but they all subsided this past spring, until about 2 weeks ago. How can I help her? I just want undies and shirts to be non-threatening for her. Any suggestions or ideas?

#6 Melissa on 2007-08-23 12:01 (Reply)

I just wanted to say how interesting it was to find this site and to learn that there is a name for my sons "pickyness" he has about his socks. It was a real battle when he was younger; he is 9yr now; he would pitch such a fit about his socks i couldn't understand what the problem was. As he got older he was able to explain to me what it was he liked and didn't like. We found some seamless socks at Target and realized those were the ones. But the larger sizes have seams, so now we are on the search for some more. He usually is ok by turning his socks inside out and that is fine with me although his baseball socks look funny but we go aong with it.
All in all it's always good to know we are not alone. I do wish i knew this when he was younger because i wouldn't have gotten so frustrated with him when he stretched his shirt collars and chewed on the sleeves.
Thanks

#7 Joy on 2007-11-19 19:29 (Reply)

Hi Joy,
Yes, welcome to the world of hypersensitivities.
I did find some seamless socks, which I'll add to my store at www.myADDstore.com

Check these out- www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0006GRL8C/addconsults

The reviews are really good and some are from parents who have children with sensory issues.

Terry

#7.1 Terry Matlen (Homepage) on 2007-11-19 22:28 (Reply)

Joy-
WOW! I thought I was the only one dealing with these issues. I just found this website today. I was just beside myself this morning and both myself and my 4 year old were in tears over the daily battle of wearing socks and certain clothes. She told me "socks make my feet nervous." After reading all the accounts of other parents describing their child's issues I can better understand that she really does have an issue and it is not just poor behavior! If anyone has more info on this Dr. Matthew Rosen or books he had written, I would love the inof. I want to better understand my daughter's condition. We have major issues with panies too. She has become so obsessed that we took her to the ER because she would not urinate. After reading some the other stories, I think this may also stem from PHD? Do the seamless socks work?

#7.2 Sandi Ritchey on 2008-01-18 20:19 (Reply)

nordstroms sells seamless sock..about $10 for 2 or 3 pairs..

#7.3 cathy on 2008-06-13 00:01 (Reply)

Hi Sandy,

Glad you found my blog; my main websites are at http://www.addconsults.com and http://www.myADDstore.com - and let me know if you'd like to receive my ADD newsletters.

Yes, lots and lots of ADHD and sensory challenged folks swear by seamless socks. I found more on Amazon here, that might work for your daughter:

http://www.amazon.com/SmartKnit-Seamless-Black-Crew-X-Static/dp/B000G7W6ZO/ref=pd_sbs_a_title_1/102-3508655-8464921

Also, check out my "soft clothing" for sensory defensive folks at http://www.addconsults.com/store/index.php?cPath=32&osCsid=d2a74487ff9c9ec8d72022476fe319e5

Good luck with your daughter. I was very much like that as a child and she is not exaggerating; it truely is painful and/or uncomfortable.

Terry

#8 Terry Matlen on 2008-01-18 22:55 (Reply)

The seamless socks definitely work. I have a 7 year old daughter that hates seams in her socks. Getting her ready for school was a battle. I finally found some seamless socks that work great. I think someone else already mentioned them on their reply but they really are great. I found them online at www.therawear.com and they are called smartknit kids seamless socks. These socks have saved my sanity (not to mention time) in the mornings.

#9 Kimberly on 2008-02-05 13:21 (Reply)

Hi Kimberly,

I'm so glad you found socks that work for your daughter. I also sell similar seamless socks at my online store at www.myADDstore.com. You can find them at this link:
http://tinyurl.com/32s7u5 and also at http://tinyurl.com/2wp3rz

Terry

#10 Terry Matlen (Homepage) on 2008-02-05 15:06 (Reply)

My mom sent this to me and I am so happy to see I am not alone anymore! My eldest daughter who just turned 8 has always had an issue with clothes. Whether it is underwear, socks, tags, shirts, shoes, etc. all have to be at least two sizes too big with no tags. If anything at all is squeezy, then she will not wear it at all. I have almost given up buying things in stores and hit garage sales and scoop up lots of different clothes for her to try and see what works. It seems like every three months or so we have to do it all over again. It is incredibly frustrating! Thanks for being there. I thought I was alone!

#11 anni martin on 2008-05-02 12:12 (Reply)

Hi,
This is a common problem for our kids and I'm glad to see parents here understanding that the clothes are indeed PAINFUL for them.

Check out the clothes I offer in my store for those with hypersensitivities:

http://tinyurl.com/5ncb4p

Terry

#12 Terry Matlen (Homepage) on 2008-05-02 12:20 (Reply)

I am glad I found this site. I have 4 kids and all of them have the sensory issues to some degree or another. My 12 year old son has mostly grown out of it, but my 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son are constantly fussing about their clothing. My kids will wear the same clothing for a week if I let them. I need help with them but I refuse to put them on medication. I am hoping that they will just grow out of these issues like my older son.

#12.1 Lisa Aldridge (Homepage) on 2008-05-11 23:55 (Reply)

My 8 year old daughter has always had a problem with socks and other things like labels, seams, tops, trousers shoes and bedding and more. Getting dressed would send her into a rage and she would completely refuse to wear many items. This led to her missing out on all sorts of treats and outings as I presumed she was trying to control us. It was after reading this site a few weeks ago I have begun to understand what is going on. I am researching as much as I can into the subject and my approach is now completely different and hopefully my daughter will calm down and start to trust me again as some of her reactions may be beacuse she was being backed into a corner. Her explanations of why the clothes were 'not right' never made any sense, so it was difficult for me to understand until now. My daughter is also a bedwetter which we assumed was to do with the kidney problem she had but I now believe my be connected with this. Although she is ultra sensative with clothing etc she is quite robust in other ways and rarely complains of other pain of cuts and bruises which you would normally expect to hurt. This condition does not really seems to be recognised in the Uk and I am sure there must be other parents going through the same havoc at home and feeling a bit silly talking about it. Obviously there are times when a child is just being 'fussy' but this is different, Being forced to wear something that does not feel right can make them unable to concentrate at school, bad behaviour or just be grumpy and confrontational. I am just so pleased that this sight brought this to my atttention. I would really like to hear more from adults who suffered as a child to get more information as to what may help and if and when they grew out of it.

#13 Sally McLahclan on 2008-05-21 09:48 (Reply)

All of you have my sympathy! I had a daughter with the same problems that you mention. I taught Preschool and would be late in the mornings just because I couldn't satisfy my daughter with shoes and socks at 3,4, and 5 years old. Then around 6, I couldn't find pants to feel right. When we did find something that she would wear, she would wear it non stop! It was embarrassing and frustrating keeping something clean on hand. Her pants legs of the one and only pair of hot pink sweat pants had holes in them (when it wasn't in style) and wore them day in and day out. On vacation trips, we'd have to stop and buy new underwear because she would cry. She then would only wear dresses on into 8, 9 and 10 years old. Noone wore dresses! I remember sitting in the dressing room of stores and just crying that nothing would feel right. I found that J. Crew clothes felt ok and we just bought from them on line and the trying on clothes catastrophes had stopped for awhile until 6th grade when my daughter was ridiculed for wearing a dress her first day of school at a brand new school in a brand new state. Middle School is painful enough without having a sensitivity to clothes (such an important thing at that age) She hadn't worn pants in years and had to for the uniform. There was no way out
of it and we got some used uniforms that were well worn and soft and she wore them. Happy day, she could wear the same thing day in and day out without anyone realizing she didn't change clothes. But on dress down days, she still wore a uniform which was a no-no socially. Slowly, but surely she tried other things and by 9th grade she knew she just had to get a pair of jeans or she'd be out socially. How thrilled we were to see her in her first pair of jeans!
Today, I write one week after her prom. I cried thinking of the awful past of finding someting that felt right and seeing her in itchy gold tule. Tons and tons of itchy tule touching her body and no tears. Good Luck and thanks for this site for all in the future because I didn't know what it was, had I known it would have been easier.
Hopefully, your children will outgrow it too!

#13.1 Mary Kay on 2008-05-23 10:56 (Reply)

I am so glad I found this website . I have a 5 yr (just turned recently) old daughter that is a great child . She is very bright and sweet but extremely sensitive. She like many of your posts refuses to wear many things she has always hated buttons of any kind I can not even wear buttons on my clothing. She likes her Princess sandals but it is getting to cold obviously for these however . she will put on my boots which are way too big but refuses to wear the last 2 pair purchased for her though she agreed in the store to like them. The big issue is that she is only wanting to wear a Tickle me Elmo shirt which i have two but she prefers the worn looking one . She likes baggy pajamas cut into shorts with a character on it (spongebob) She was too young for kindergarten thuis sept where I live so the battle about dressing for school has not begun But I am very concerned and this is a great website if anyone has any ideas i would appreciate any and all. She also has a peanut allergy aand this has been difficult . i wonder if other parents notice sensitivities with allergic children / I do a lot of washing clothes but I would love to get her back to wearing a variety of clothes . thanks for listening.

#13.2 Carol on 2008-12-09 14:11 (Reply)

I'm so glad I found this site! Oddly enough, it's not my issue, but mine!

I remember hating socks and shoes as a kid, and the texture of denim or clothing tags drove me nuts. IT still does as a matter of fact.

Thankfully I'm a stay at home mom now, because I can't bare to wear socks. I've worm only flip flops in the last 3 years!

My mother in law seriously thinks I have OCD, and thankfully my husband just accepts me, and is willing to buy me excessively expensive overly fluffy bath towels.

For everyone: the way I describe the sensation to my husband, is that it's similar to fingernails on a chalk board.

It didnt used to be so extreme when I was younger, but that's what its like now. Certain textures make me cringe, and hurt my brain, for lack of a better explaination, like the chalkboard thing.

If anyone has any method of un-sensitising the hyper sensitive, or tips I would love it if you could contact me.

#14 Anna on 2008-07-29 10:08 (Reply)

I feel like everything you mentioned in your article and what the other parents have experienced is exactly what we live with every day with our five year old daughter. Some days she is ok, and she will put her underwear and socks on and not complain too much, but there are other days when she causes everyone to be late because she doesn't like any of the clothes, shoes, underwear or socks she tries. Sometimes she starts by waking up and starting with a tantrum and then it is all downhill from there. I never know from one day to the next if we will have a good day. She approves the clothes usually the night before, but there is no telling whether she will change her mind in the morning. I feel so terrible because sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with her since I have two other siblings that need to get to school as well. Thank you for this posting, I will be sure to read as much as I can so we know how to deal with her without anger and resentment.

#15 Kristine on 2008-08-20 11:42 (Reply)

Kristine, I know EXACTLY what you are going thru. My 5-year-old son careens from OK mornings to nightmare mornings when he wakes up screaming--from what? who knows. Pain, frustration, bad dreams . . . we've been to every specialist you can imagine. He gets regular OT, which helps a lot. Right now I'm looking into whether his triggers include migraine headaches (sometimes they manifest in kids as extreme irritability and mood swings . . . sound familiar?) and allergies. Good luck!!!

#15.1 Kristin on 2008-09-08 13:06 (Reply)

I have a 5 year old son who seems to have the same problems. We went through a time period when he was 2 or 3 where I could not get him dressed for 3 days. Luckily I am a stay at home mom. He will have a total melt down. When I say meltdown I mean throwing himself down on the ground screaming for long periods of time because something is tight on his arms or hips or it makes him "nervous"...I do not understand this description but it makes sense to him. Shoes are always too tight. Pajamas might be too tight one night and fit perfect the next and forget a winter coat or baseball uniform pants, that is not a battle I am ever up for.
I assumed at first (like many of you) that he was testing me. Then I realized these clothes actually were hurting him. To the point where he could not stand it. He wasn't throwing these fits because he wanted to be in control, he was actually having a melt down. I did ask my doctor about this...I was quickly informed that it was a behavioral problem (translation - bad mother).
Thank you all so much. I can not even explain how it feels to know that there are other mothers out there feeling like I feel.
Now for some tricks that work for me. These do not take care of the problem by any stretch just small things that work for my child and possibly yours...
Gold toe socks from Target - Crocs - rain boots - Gap shirts - Old navy fleece pullovers - underwear a size too big or boxers (but only with certain shorts) - flip flops.
I just ordered a book recomended on this site. Hopefully it will have some helpful hints. If anyone has any advice, ideas or just wants to talk feel free to contact me I would love to hear from you.

#16 Tricia on 2008-09-10 23:18 (Reply)

I've been buying some seamless socks for my daughter called SmartKnit Kids Seamless socks. These seem to help a lot and we're not having as many issues with her socks in the mornings before school. Unfortunately for a long time the socks only came in white and black, but now they make them in more colors like navy, purple & pink. It doesn't hurt that the packaging has a cute little bug on the front as well. Sarah always says that she wants to wear her "bug socks".

Anyways - You can find the SmartKnit Kids socks at www.therawear.com/kids_seamless_socks.html.

#17 Ashley on 2008-09-11 14:16 (Reply)

I was wondering where I might be able to find seemless shirts for kids. I'm having a hard time.

#18 Diane on 2008-09-13 10:34 (Reply)

This site is great for all the reasons each of you have mentioned.
We live in the Northeast and this time of year we need lots of layers, mittens, hats, long underwear.
Please does anyone have suggestions for making dressing for the cold easier? Right now we have tantrums or a very very chilly little boy.

Maria

#19 maria on 2008-12-03 18:35 (Reply)

Hi everyone,

Wow, even though this topic is over 2 years old, people are still finding it and commenting on it. So...I've copied the original article and bumped it up so that people who read this blog regularly can easily find this thread and comment on it.

Please try and post your comments here:

http://addconsults.com/blog/archives/163-Some-kids-ultra-sensitive-to-socks,-shirt-seams,-tags.html

Thanks,
Terry

#20 Terry Matlen (Homepage) on 2008-12-09 17:20 (Reply)

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