Dear Visitors,
Please note that I will be using my new site to post blogs, articles and other resources of interest. Please visit me at Moms with ADD at www.momswithadd.com .
See you there!
Terry
Women with AD/HD at Mid Life and Beyond. How to Grow Wiser while
Growing Older
This LIVE broadcast is FR**EE and is Open to All!
The issues that all women must confront and learn to navigate successfully
after age 50 are uniquely impacted by AD/HD. Explore this largely uncharted
territory, share your experiences and approaches to this potentially rich
and rewarding stage of life. The message is that this is the time to move
toward a life of increased authenticity, meaning, and satisfaction, even though
the frustrations AD/HD may persist.
This video broadcast with Sari will be a live video along with you, the
participants, writing in live for a fun and lively discussion. Much more fun
than just teleclasses! Check it out.
Sari would like women, both for this broadcast and for the annual CHADD
Conference*, to send her their experiences and stories of success and struggle
as it relates to life after 50 for women with AD/HD.
Please send your stories, your approaches, your philosophies and the issues
as you see them to sari@sarisolden .
If you have any questions about the broadcast or www.ADDjourneys.
** Just log into www.ADDjourneys.
Members of www.ADDjourneys.
afterward at their convenience.
Keep checking for a new, exciting design! I'll be posting periodically but can't wait to share the new site with you. Stay tuned!
So this has nothing to do with ADHD, which might be a lie, since I'm completely off topic by posting about something NOT about ADHD...but..
I'm reading the most incredible book:
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See. I'm not done yet, but I am in love with it.
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812968069/addconsults
Get it. I promise you'll love it, too.
Do these things make you crazy impatient?
One reason why people with ADHD tend to be impatient is because of their hyperactivity, impulsivity, restlessness and nearly phobic fear of boredom. Even for the ADHD adult who doesnt have the hyperactivity/impulsivity component but instead is more inattentive, patience is often not a virtue typically seen.
Read more HERE
When I saw a post by Seth Godin on Bryan Hutchinson's website at www.adderworld.com , I impulsively emailed him and asked if I could interview him.
For those of you who don't know Seth, well...he is to marketing what the Beatles are to music: a contemporary genius who changed the world of business and marketing through his entrepreneurial ventures, books and other projects. He's written 10 books, including his latest: Tribes, a national bestseller. He's also the founder of Squidoo, one of the most popular websites on the net.
In a recent article in Business Week, Seth mentioned that he has ADHD. And he confirmed just that in a short note he left on Bryan's site.
I've read a number of Seth's books- he's one of my heros. Not just because of his creative marketing ideas, but because of how one can utlilze them in everyday life. One of his themes is to be remarkable, to stand out from the crowd and to not be afraid of doing things differently. I always thought that people with ADHD need to embrace their ADD and stop running and hiding/fighting it. Isn't that what Seth advocates in the marketing world?
When I contacted him today, never expecting a response, he graciously accepted my invitation to interview him.
I thought you, my readers, might have some interesting, pressing questions to ask Seth- an amazingly successful man who happens to also have ADHD- questions that I might not come up with myself.
So...if you've got a question for Seth, please email them to me at askSeth@addconsults.com and I'll run as many of them by him as I can. Look for the interview in an upcoming newsletter.
In the meantime, visit his site at www.sethgodin.com
Email your questions to Seth at askSeth@addconsults.com
This is Harper, our Portuguese Water Dog at 5 months of age. If ever there was a dog/puppy that could have ADHD, she'd be it. She's grown a lot since this photo was taken 8 weeks ago and can now make a path on the kitchen table- with her FEET- when we're not looking. Or even if we are. She doesn't have three or five toys...no...she got too bored with those. She has a huge BIN full of them.
Harper has no and I mean NO attention span unless there's peanut butter on your finger to get her to listen to you.
Rumor has it that president-elect Obama is considering buying a Portie for his family. Good luck, Obamas!
Truth is, we are head over heels for this little monkey. In time, she'll settle down. We hope.
Waaaay back when I was in high school and even before that, I'd form musical groups with friends and perform locally. Once I began college, I put down my guitar (and drums, bass, piano, etc), to focus on my studies, then later on all the other things "grown ups" are supposed to do.
But my dream to perform never died. So when I began attending ADDA conferences, and later joining their board, I'd schlep out my guitar to perform at their annual talent show.
A few months ago, I reunited with some musical friends and long story short, we were asked to back up a local band at Peabody's, a restuarant/bar. The band also offered to give us some time to do some songs on our own during their break. So we did.
It was soooo much fun. We hadn't had much time to practice and it showed, but still, we gals had the time of our lives.
Music is coming back into my life, 30+ years later. It's never too late to find your dream or reconnect with an old one.
What dream would YOU like to revive?
I actually posted the blog below a few years ago here, but am finding that many people who search for information on sensory issues, land there and post comments. Since it seems to be a popular topic, I decided to re-post it here so others can read it without having to wade through two years' worth of blog posts. But if you'd like to read people's comments on the original blog, just click here: http://www.addconsults.com/blog/archives/77-Some-kids-ultra-sensitive-to-socks,-shirt-seams,-tags.html#c241863
I also have gotten a LOT of requests from people looking for seamless socks. You can order them at my sister site at www.myADDstore.com, here: http://www.addconsults.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=32&products_id=1470&osCsid=6aedaf1c0893c3b5afedd18f17a2cac1
And if you're looking for other clothing for the sensory sensitive, see my items at http://www.addconsults.com/store/index.php?cPath=32&osCsid=6aedaf1c0893c3b5afedd18f17a2cac1
Ok, on to the article! See below-
How about that? I just found this interesting article, again...on sensory issues.
Early intervention can help with sensory overload
In some homes, a child's sock is simply that: A child's sock.
But in homes like Kelly Chirdo's, it is not.
The little ball of cloth is an instigator of tears, a symbol of lost time and sometimes the cause of a missed school bus or activity.
Kelly's 10-year-old daughter, Macy, simply cannot bear most socks. Or tags in the back of her shirts. Or seams in her clothes.
The socks must be seamless (or turned inside out) and the tags must be cut out, or the clothing won't get worn. Period.
"At first I thought, oh, she is a diva," says Chirdo of Irondequoit, recalling how Macy's early, insistent arrival caused an unplanned home birth. "Then I realized that this wasn't attitude, these things really bother her."
As it turns out, these things and sometimes many more bother an awful lot of kids.
"We got talking about this one day and found four people on our staff have the same problem," says Lisa Revell, an Irondequoit office manager whose 12-year-old son, Joe was, as a preschooler, "a horrible nightmare" when it came to sock seams and height, tags, winter boots and most other aspects of dressing.
And it isn't just clothing issues. Some kids have all senses on high alert: Pillows must always feel cool. Foods can't have lumps or other textures. Noises can't be borne, or else they must be heard loudly. Collar points or sleeves grow ragged from chewing or sucking. Hugs can be unbearable or must be given to the point of breathlessness.
On top of it all, the behaviors can be there one day, gone the next, roaring back a day later.
The good news is that the problem has gained enough notice to earn several names and various treatments.
The not-so-good news is that between pricey evaluations, arguing clinicians and conflicting diagnoses, finding the right help requires time and patience from parents run ragged by searching for seamless socks, tagless shirts and linens that magically stay chilled all night long.
Of all the labels for these behaviors sensory defensiveness, sensory integration, sensory integration dysfunction, tactile sensitivity, tactile sensory defensiveness only one fails to generate much in an Internet search.
This is because "pervasive hypersensitivity disorder" (PHD) is the creation of Brighton psychologist Matthew Rosen, who believes the problem needs its own name in order to separate it from disorders it resembles but does not mirror.
"These are kids who act kind of like the princess and the pea. They feel things strongly, are very passionate, critical deep thinkers," Rosen explains. "But they often are misdiagnosed. Like attention deficit disorder kids, they are squirmy, they are inattentive, they can be impulsive, they can be distracted. And like oppositional defiant disorder kids, they're gonna be cranky and oppositional."
Some differences, for example, are that a child with PHD may be squirmy simply because of discomfort, inattentive from intense pondering how to fix his situation, or oppositional from plain old feeling bad.
Rosen believes that some children with PHD can have that and nothing else, and with time and understanding can grow out of it, as Macy Chirdo appears to be doing. "It's stayed mostly to clothes," says her mother. "She has a few outfits she'll wear. No belts, nothing at the waist. She's still very perceptive and sensitive and intense. That's it, and that's who she is."
More often, experts find, PHD is a red flag alerting parents and pediatricians to other disorders.
By first grade, Joseph Moore of Webster was exhibiting many behaviors that Rosen lists for PHD, from chewing and sucking on the collars of his shirts and "turtling" (pulling his shirt over his kneecaps and putting his head into the neckhole) to rejecting most shoes and clothes, disrobing wherever possible.
"Oh my Lord, it was a struggle just to do the basics," says his mother, Susan Macaluso, who was also struggling with well-meaning observers who none-too-subtly hinted that poor discipline was to blame.
After trying two medications, talking to Rosen and discovering bipolar disorder in the family history, Macaluso learned that Joseph did not have ADD or ADHD, but a mix of bipolar and PHD. A third medication plus regular therapy caused "remarkable" change, she says. Joseph still prefers loose clothing, "but he's otherwise just a regular kid."
Revell, too, found her son's grade-school hypersensitivity was just a piece of a larger puzzle initially thought to be OCD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, but was actually ADHD. Talk therapy, medications and time have gotten rid of most of the problem.
"We learned to pick our battles and let the rest go," she says. "He's a super-sensitive kid. So, OK."
The road to learning exactly what's wrong and how to fix it is long even for parents familiar with childhood disabilities.
Even though Karen Boltwood works for Board of Cooperative Educational Services as a para-educator for autistic children, she's struggled for 11 years to understand her son Benjamin's tantrums, unsoothable anxiety and acute fear responses when confronted with clothing tags, shoes, foods, swingsets and other elements of childhood.
"At this point, it's better, it's mostly down to social issues," says Boltwood, of Webster. "But we're at the point where it's like, 'We don't care what you call it, we just want to fix it.'"
Pediatricians and therapists say this requires understanding some basics.
For one, says Rosen, "Bad parenting does not cause this. This is how some kids are wired."
Ruth Goldberg, also a Brighton therapist, agrees: "These kids aren't here to make your life miserable. They're genuinely unhappy. Their behavior is communication with you you can learn from it."
Another basic: Because this is easily mistaken for other disorders, a full evaluation is necessary. Start with your pediatrician, Goldberg advises, and ask around for a good occupational therapist. "They're the real experts in this."
Then prepare to take notes. There are several kinds of sensory issues a child can have, says Angela Sallerson, an occupational therapist for 36 years who focuses on pediatric patients, "and there's no blood test, no way to pick it apart easily."
The key, she says, is acting quickly on unusual behaviors and getting the right diagnosis.
"Early intervention is it with kids. Labels and letters can be frightening, but they're not the death sentence they used to feel like. You need a behavioral plan for the child and the parent. And if you treat it, it does get better."
I have gotten a ton of ADD related newsletters recently, telling me how to survive the holidays. They all have great suggestions, too. Like starting a to-do list. Prioritizing. Remembering the real reason behind the holidays. Delegating chores. Hiring someone to clean the house. Etc etc.
But Im tired of reading the same ol same ol. So today, Im sharing my list of what NOT to do to prepare for the holidays if you have ADHD:
10. Dont buy a single can of pumpkin filling, olives or bread crumbs until you check your pantry to see if theres one, two or even 10 cans lurking behind the cereal. Trust me, you probably have some hiding in the back, somewhere.
9. Do not wear white. Whoever came up with the term winter white should be shot. Everyone knows that if you wear white during the holidays, you WILL get cranberry sauce, ketchup and wine on it. No brainer. Even more important, do not let your kids wear anything other than blue or black between Thanksgiving and New Years.
8. Do not put up holiday lights; more than likely, theyre already still up from last year. I can spot an ADD household a mile away. They simply unplug the lights and forget (?) to put them away. Go ahead, plug yours in. Great- youre all set. End of story.
7. Do not wait till the day before Christmas or Chanukah to buy gifts. Stop what youre doing right this minute and order your gifts online- all of them. Start at www.myADDstore.com or do me a favor and send a few pennies my way by ordering at Amazon using this link:
http://www.amazon.
6. Do not have the traditional dinner. Are those sweat stains I see on your blouse? Let me help relieve your anxieties about your traditional holiday dinner: Who says you have to have a huge nerve wracking gathering at your home? Choose between A and B:
A. Have only the immediate family over. That way you can get away with store bought chicken and sides or even carryout. Yes, I am letting you off the hook. Blame me, I can take it. Still feeling badly? Invite the gang AFTER dinner, for dessert.
B. Make reservations for dinner OUT. Huh? Youre feeling guilty? Why do you always let other peoples feelings be more important than yours? Go for it.
5. If you DO decide to host the dinner, do NOT invite Aunt Sadie and Uncle Jack. You know they dont tolerate your hyperactive kids, unruly dog, cluttered house and chaos. Instead, invite friends and relatives who celebrate your unique family and home.
4. Do not stress over a messy house. I realize not everyone can afford a cleaning crew to help you get your house in tip top shape for guests. If youve read my Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD, youll note a few great tips on how to de-clutter your house in a hurry (among other things). Heres one: Have each family member take 2 mega garbage bags. Assign rooms to each person and have them dump the clutter into the bags. Haul them out to the garage. After the holiday, bring them back in and put everything away. Ok, lets be reasonable. That part will take a few weeks. Its ok. Been there, done that. Its not the end of the world. But I would suggest that you delegate one bag for important stuff that you need easy access to, like your bills, calendars, dog food, meds, etc. Place a sticky label on the ties with a note that says Important or Need to File.
3. Dont even THINK about cleaning up the dinner dishes till the next morning. Dump everything in the sink. Pour hot water and detergent on everything. By morning, everything will easily slide off. Youll have a lot more energy to attack this chore, too.
2. Do not obsess over the fact that you have 645
1. Do not force your ADHD kids to wait till dinnertime for their meal. Again, rule breaking is in order here if you and your guests want a pleasant dinner. Allow the kids to eat when they are hungry. Nothing can break a holiday spirit faster than irritable kids.
There- you made it! Now one last thing: write down what you did this year that worked and what didnt. Write down your menu and anything else you think will help you get through this next year. But dont ask me where to put it. I need to figure out my Thanksgiving plans, first!
Yes, it makes life difficult, for sure. Lots of marriages fail when ADHD kids are in the mix. But more than likely, there's also an ADHD parent or two.
See my article, Children with ADHD and Marital Stress
Women's Day Magazine did a nice job profiling a woman with ADHD (not me) and interviewed me for the story. If you're near a newsstand, pick up the November 1, 2008 copy. My quotes are in the side box. Woo woo!
Twenty-two of the most celebrated doctors, therapists, and coaches in the field of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) are coming together for the first time in a virtual setting. From September 22-24, 2008, people affected by AD/HD, including parents, service professionals, and AD/HD adults, will hear live presentations from experts including:
- Dr. Edward Hallowell, author of "Driven to Distraction"
- Dr. Daniel Amen, author of "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life"
- Sari Solden, MS, LMFT, author of "Journeys Through ADDulthood"
Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) is a condition characterized by attention inconsistencies, impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity. AD/HD affects an estimated 5% of the population worldwide.
"The Virtual AD/HD Conference is a unique opportunity for people to get all the tools they need to succeed from top experts, without ever leaving home," says Jennifer Koretsky of the ADD Management Group, who is hosting the conference along with Terry Matlen of ADD Consults.
Adds Matlen, "Everyone can participate at their own pace and attend only the presentations that most interest them. This conference has all the benefits of an in-person conference without the travel expense and hassle."
The live presentations will delve into important topics in AD/HD, such as:
- Medication and Alternative Treatments
- Addictions and Eating Disorders
- Success Strategies for Kids, Teens & College Students
- Time Management and Organization
- Career Management
- And much more
The Virtual AD/HD Conference will center on an interactive, participant-only website, which means that everything attendees need to participate in the conference and connect with their peers is located in one, easy-to-use online space. Participants will have the option to listen to each presentation live via webcast or via telephone, and share their thoughts in dedicated discussion forums.
In addition, the conference will host networking sessions in live chat rooms where attendees can connect with one another. There will also be a virtual exhibit hall of AD/HD products and services. Plus, attendees will have the opportunity to purchase an audio CD set with printed transcripts of all the presentations.
The conference is open to the public. Registrations are being taken online at http://www.ADHDconference.com.
Last week, we picked up Harper, our brand new Portuguese Water Dog puppy. Not having had a puppy in nearly 15 years, I'd forgotten how much work is involved. Trying to avoid accidents has been a 24/7 job and has pretty much stopped everything else to a dead halt. I'm waaay behind in my work.
I love Harper and am learning more about myself in the process of taking care of her.
For instance, I finally met my neighbors that live 3 doors away from me. I thought they'd moved in a few years ago, but when I took Harper for a walk the other day, we officially met and I was told they'd been living here 10 years or so. Talk about being embarrassed!
So, if you're a shy type and would like to meet new people, including your own neighbors, I highly recommend you get a puppy and just start...walking.
I've met some really nice people that way and what a great way to expand your social connections!
Oh geez. It happened again.
I was up at our little lake house in Canada for the weekend and met our new neighbors, John and...and...Mary Ann. Or was it Ann Marie.
I tried, I really did, to remember their names when we introduced ourselves. I got the John part, but not the Mrs. John part.
I"ve written before how double names always mess me up because for the life of me, I cannot remember them. Was it Ruth Ann? Or LeeAnne? Kathy Lee? Or Kathy Lynn?
Guess I'll have to swallow my pride and ask her. And ask her again.